The Subway - Tip #5 Your Ticket On Board

No doubt, there will be a line to buy a subway ticket. The machines are there for a reason, and why people stand in line to buy from the person behind the window, I still have no idea, because not only do they not care where you are going, but they sure as hell don't care if you get there. They are so miserable with their jobs, they want to make sure every one else is too. So....

Tip #5 - Learn how to buy your ticket, on your own

While you are in line waiting to buy a ticket, pay attention. The people in front of you are very familiar with how to do this, so take notes and don't just stand in line picking your ass, watch what others are doing so when it is your turn, you don't stand there like an idiot reading each screen like if you push the wrong button, the machine will blow up, because, well, it won't. What will blow up are the people's tempers behind you who have no time to wait for you to figure out how to use this crazy looking machine that takes your money and spits out a ticket.

If you are in one of the few stations during those few times of day where the machines don't have any lines and there aren't any people around, then by all means, feel free to stand there and read all the fine print. I recommend doing this in the early morning, definitely before 6am, prior to rush hour on weekdays or at night, between 8-10pm when all other tourists are sitting in a broadway show or enjoying dinner.

Bottom line, pay attention

The Subway - Tip #4 Don't Stop

The worst thing you can do when you go down into the subway system is to stop walking. Whoa boy, watch out because you WILL be run over and pushed. So there is your warning, so when you stop and get pushed, don't get pissed and don't go starting a yelling match, because I'm hear to tell you, YOU WERE WRONG.

Tip #4 - Don't Stop Moving

You are surrounded by people who know where they are going, how to maneuver through crowds, and have no patience for tourists.

Before you go underground, know where you need to go, or at least know what train you are looking for so you can continually move while looking for the right sign to the right train. Oh, and while you are above ground looking at the map trying to figure out what train you need to take, make sure you have pulled off to the side of the sidewalk and are not the idiots standing in the middle of the walkway holding up a huge subway map looking for your destination, because again, here is your warning, you will get pushed, shoved and possibly spit on.

Or, better yet, put down the map, and ask a very nice stranger walking next to you how to get to your exciting new tourist attraction. Because of this, they will not push you, shove you or spit on you.

Happy Travels

The Subway - Tip #1 Don't Be Scared

The biggest thing I hear when people are visiting NYC is that they are afraid to use the Subway because they think they will get lost. Hahahahahaha, I just laugh.

Tip #1 - You Can't Get Lost

Think about it this way, a subway train runs 2 ways, the way its headed and the opposite way its headed. If you got on the train and suddenly found yourself in Queens, get out of the train, and go to the opposite side and head back the way you came.

Just make sure you get on the same train number or letter. ie if you 'got lost' on the N train, then take the N train back.

But you can't get lost. You can either go north east south or west, so if you headed west and oops, wrong direction, then you know what? Go east.

It's not that hard. So stop wasting money in cabs and take the plunge under ground. Get on the subway and 'get lost'

The Streets of NYC - Tip #5 Lets get down to basics

This is the bread and butter right here. This is where it aaaaalllll began, back in 2004 when I moved to NYC and had nothing but wonder in my eyes. Well, then reality hit, and I'll tell you, I couldn't believe how stupid people got when they started walking. I'm not talking about the ones that live there, because they have been there long enough to know, but it's the ones who just moved or are coming in for a visit. So no matter where you are from, PLEASE READ and TAKE NOTES!

Tip #5 - Walk like you drive

Let's say you are driving in your car and you have a friend with you in the front seat. OMG, you turn to the right and see the most beautiful view in the whole entire world and you MUST get a picture before you never see it again. What do you do? Do you...

A. Pull out your camera, continue to drive and take a picture

B. Stop in the middle of the road, wherever you happen to be when you see this amazing shot, pull out your camera and take a picture

C. Pull over, stop the car and pull out your camera and take a picture

God, I hope you all picked C. Unfortunately, when people exit their cars and start walking on the busiest sidewalk known to man kind, they treat it like they are in a massive field, with tons of room, and have all the time in the world to do whatever it is they want to do. So here it is,

WALK LIKE YOU DRIVE

If you see an amazing shot and MUST have it, then pull over, take out your camera and get that amazing shot.

If you have more than one passenger, don't create a barricade. Geez, walk behind each other, as a cluster. See this pic above? See the group making a line because heaven forbid one of them takes the lead? Stop.

Always walk to the right, nobody drives down the middle of the highway (on purpose) and certainly nobody drives into oncoming traffic (on purpose). So stay to the right.

If you are a bus, and move a bit slower and need more frequent stops, then stay to the most right hand lane.

If you are a sports car and want to get somewhere extremely fast without a lot of stops because you don't give two s*&ts about the view, then stay to the left.

Let's say you are in the middle, you are a sedan and you aren't in a rush, you may want to grab a picture but really you are out doing a 'scenic sunday drive,' by all means feel free to move back and forth between lanes. But just know, that at some point there will be a sports car coming up behind you. So, my advice, stay to the right until you need to pass.

Those of you from Europe, your steering wheel may be on the opposite side of the car from us, but you still drive on the same side of the road. So bring this with you would ya?

Please please please, pass this on to EVERYONE you know, because even though this drove me NUTS in NYC, I know there are busy sidewalks everywhere....this concept can be used there too! I know, crazy isn't it?! Could you imagine how easy it would be to walk on sidewalks if everyone took this into consideration??

Next Week: Driving

the Streets of NYC - Tip #4 Where Am I?

The worst feeling is when you step out of the subway system and have no idea where you are or which way is up. Yuck.

So here you go

Tip #4 - Learn N S E W

Wether its a new subway stop that you aren't familiar with or you just have no idea where you are, here's what you do. Head to the nearest corner, look right and then look left. If you look right and the next street sign over is a numbered street, that means you could either head North or South. So, when you look left, if the number is smaller, thats South, if the number is higher, that's North.

Chances are that if you look right and can't see the next street, then you can head East or West. This is the tricky one because you need to know what named street you are looking for, and then which way you need to head. The best way to do that is to ASK! New Yorkers are known to be the nicest people around, I know, can't believe it right? But let me tell you that NY'ers are very proud to live in the City that never sleeps. They will be happy to tell you where Broadway is or which way to walk to get to 1st Ave (don't get it confused with 1st St).

So open your mouth, put down your map (because you can't walk and read anyway and I'll talk more about that tomorrow), and talk to the proud New Yorker who was standing there waiting for you to ask how to get to your destination.

Happy walking!

The Streets of NYC - Tip #3 Strollers

Oh man, I'll tell you something, people in NYC who have strollers are something else. I have no idea what they are thinking, because even now that I am a mom pushing around a stroller, I still don't have the sense of entitlement that these women think they have.

So here's my tip to those who DON'T have strollers

Tip #3 - You are not the special ones

Understand that people with strollers have the right of way, they do not have to move over, move quicker or apply themselves to ANY rules that apply to all others. I'd like to tell you a

little story...

I was walking with a friend on a busy sidewalk of NY (although what walk isn't busy?). We were about the cross the street when I saw a woman with a stroller walking towards us. She had that 'look' on her face that told me she wasn't going to be stopping for anyone, and can't we see that she has a baby! MOVE! So, I took a gentle step back to make sure this woman didn't run me over. Well, because the eyes on the back of my head were closed, that step back put me on top of another stroller. I was mortified that I almost stepped on a baby that I turned, jumped and apologized. If looks could kill...I wouldn't be here to tell the story. How dare I step out of the way of one stroller to hit another. I just couldn't win with this one.

Now I would like to share a tip for those WITH strollers

Tip #3 - You are not the special ones

Now that I am part of the privileged, you know, one with a stroller to push around. I understand why you just don't care who is around because it took you at least an hour to get everyone in the house moving, let alone get your little one up, changed, fed and happy. You then have to pack for an entire weekend to get through the day and then carry that, baby and stroller everywhere you go. If you take the subway, forget about it, and you'll be lucky if someone decides to help you up and down the 100 steps that it takes to go underground.

But listen, you are not alone. There are people on the street who don't get it and for these people, you must drive that stroller defensively, not offensively. You never know what that person is going to do or what they are on, so when in doubt be careful, and look where you are going at all times.

The Streets of NYC - Tip #2 Umbrellas

Ok, this one I could go on forever, but I will try my best not to :)

When it rains in NY, everyone brings out the big black umbrella's, so I'll keep this easy.

Tip #2 - Know Your Umbrella

Just because you are using an umbrella, that doesn't make you invisible. So when someone is walking towards you with another umbrella

1. Don't pretend that you don't see them
2. Don't think that you deserve the right of way
3. Open your damn eyes and realize that you are not the only one walking on the streets of Manhattan

For people walking towards you:

• If you are taller or the same height, please lift your umbrella to make sure you don't scrape anyone in the head or eye
• If you are shorter, this is a bit more difficult, but you should also lift your umbrella so all umbrellas are now over all heads involved

For those walking quickly and coming up from behind:

• Realize that others do not have eyes in the back of their heads, so if their umbrella is higher, then move yours to make sure you don't hit them
• If they hold their umbrella so close that it could be a hat, then move to the side (after checking passing lanes) and lift your umbrella.

The running theme here is that everyone has a frickin umbrella. No body looks where they are going and everybody thinks they deserve the right of way. Walk defensively, NOT offensively. Check your surroundings, because the more people you hit with your umbrella, the more likely you will be hit in the future.

Until they make umbrellas that don't stick out into everyone's business, please keep the above in mind.

Karma's a bitch.

The Streets of NYC - Tip #1 The Snow

I would like to start off this week by letting you all know that walking in the city is hard. If you aren't ready for it, you could get bowled over very easily, so I hope you take this in and if you have anything to add that will help our out of town friends, I'm sure we would all love the commentary.

I realize that I am currently living in a city that doesn't get snow. However, I did grow up in upstate NY and I did live in the city during winter months, and when I did live in NYC, there would be snow and sometimes, so much of it that the snow plows thought it was a brilliant idea to push all of the snow onto the sidewalk, specifically the corners of each intersection where the only way out was through the embankment. Which I get, I mean what better place to put the snow than where 99.9% of the NYC population spend most of their day.

I remember one winter when people had to create 'paths' within a snow bank just so we could get from one block to the next. I also remember thinking that it would be better to ride around on a sled because stairs down to the subway just didn't exist.

So, if you are in NYC during the winter and a blanket of snow descends over the beautiful city, just remember

1. Wear boots and bring an umbrella
2. Don't expect to get anywhere quickly
3. If you live above 54th st. there may be a chance that the Taxi's will not come and get you
4. Walking on a newly created single lane sidewalk is just silly. So don't push, shove or run and try to take the subway whenever possible.
5. Don't dress up.
6. Pack a bag with extra clothes, shoes, socks, hats and underwear (hey, you never know)

Also, feet and hand warmers are a must because you don't just walk beside the snow, you walk in it. Enjoy! And I've been thinking of all my NY friends and wishing you a safe and warm winter.