Restaurants - Tip #2 Tipping

Here's a story for you. I was working in this mid town restaurant in NYC. For those of you who don't know, when you work in mid town you will be dealing primarily with tourists. So this post.....for you. Anyway, I had this very lovely table with some business associates from London out to dinner. They sat for a few hours, relaxed, enjoyed their meal and drank quite a bit. At the end of the meal, I handed them the tab. When I came to pick everything up, (btw, I created an amazing atmosphere for this table) I look and saw that they had rounded up to the nearest dollar. That was my tip. That was how they thought I was going to pay my bills. By giving me that $.20 that made it easier for them to balance their checkbook. That's what I got for spending over 2 hours of my time making sure they were happy.

Tip #2 - In the United States, you need to tip.

A minimum of 20% is now the norm. 15% is considered an insult. Do not round up because here in the U.S. waiters live on tips. They get paid way below minimum wage (I got about $2.15 per hour). The reason for that was to cover any taxes, however it doesn't cover nearly enough so even though I always got a paycheck with $0, I still needed to pay TONS of money during tax time.

So please, all of you coming from another country where your waiters actually get minimum wage or a bit higher, we don't do that here. Please note - WE LIVE ON TIPS!

For those of you coming from another part of the country, 20% is the minimum. 15% is an insult, and when your waiter sees you bringing out your cell phone or handy little 'tip card' like the one seen above, just know that they wish they would have spit in your food.

Here's a tip on how to tip. Round up and Double it, for example, lets say your tab is $16.75. I'd take the 1, round it up to 2 and double it, leaving a $4 tip. Here's another one, your tab is $54.32. I would leave a $10 tip (take the 5, no need to round up, and double it). Here's a tricky one, your tab is $6.50. Well you aren't going to leave a $12 tip, instead, I would always leave a minimum of $2. Okay, let's go to a 5 star restaurant. Your tab is $250. Any guesses? You got it, leave $50. And for those of you who don't tip on bottles of wine....shame on you.

Happy tipping!!

Restaurants - Tip #1 Don't Assume

I was having a hard time trying to figure out where to go this week when I went out to eat and realized how many things I have to say about restaurants and eating out. I would like to preempt this by saying that I have a lot of experience working in restaurants. Not back of house, but all front of house. Waiting tables was a great way to make some cash while I was on unemployment and waiting for my next gig to come my way. So...I say this all with a little experience under my belt and from the view of the waitress, not the customer.

Tip #1 - Don't Assume

I realize that there are many reasons to go out to eat. It could be a birthday, anniversary, pay raise, lack of a pay raise or just a nice date night. Sometimes though you want to go out to impress somebody and if this is the case then be careful, because this tip will definitely apply to you.

Have you ever gone to a restaurant and didn't tip your wait staff because the food was slow, the order came out incorrectly, your drinks took too long, the wait staff wasn't around enough or the wait staff was around too much? How about if the food tasted bad? Or the cocktail wasn't exactly how you like it? Maybe you had to send your steak back a few times because they just couldn't get that damn temperature right? Or maybe, even worse, they told you the wait time was appx 30 minutes and 60 minutes later you still don't have a table.

Here's what I'm going to tell you. Get over it. YOU decided to leave your home and have someone else cook for you (btw, the waiter does NOT cook the food), YOU decided not to cook at home, YOU decided to sit down at a table and get served. YOU decided to pay too much for food and drink.

So if something goes wrong, it's probably not the waiters fault and there is nothing they could have done about how slowly the bartender moves or how horribly they make drinks. Nor could they do anything about the cook and how long they decided to keep your steak on the grill. You want a perfect steak to meet your standards?? Then do it yourself.

The point I want to make here is don't assume that the wait staff is responsible for everything that went wrong in your meal. Don't assume that you deserve anything. They are there to help and guide you through a meal that you didn't want to cook.

The Plane - Tip #5 You Smell

I know, I just did this last week, but I need to touch on this again because I think it is important for people to understand that they stink. Yes, you do. Don't think you are exempt from this because you shower or wear deodorant, or brush your teeth twice a day.

Tip #5 - Yes you! You smell!

When you sit in an airport or a plane for half a day or longer you smell. It may not be body odor, but your breath? Nasty. So pack a carry on tooth brush and try to brush in between flights, or even on the flight. Just a little water goes a long way if you forget to put that tiny little tooth paste tube in your purse or bag, but please, drink water, chew gum and brush those pearly whites.

Most people like to chat on the plane, even those who are travelling together, and the toughest thing to do is look at them and listen when you can't even inhale.

You stink, get over it and do something about it

The Plane - Tip #4 Travelling Children

I travelled with my little one when she was 2 months and just recently at 11 months. What a whole different bag of worms, but that's for another post.

Tip #4 - Kids come first

You may not have kids, and that's OK, but just know that the elderly, children and those will disabilities come first. Don't be the ass that pushes in front of a mom with 2 kids trying to get her kids on the plane in a safe and timely manner that will allow her to get them settled and her to maybe, just maybe pick up that book that she has been wanting to read for the past 9 months.

'nuff said

The Plane - Tip #3 Don't Push

This one really gets me because no matter what kind of line anyone stands in, people get stupid.

Tip #3 - Pushing doesn't make you go any faster

Why is it that when the plane is ready to board, everyone jumps up at the same time and stands in line, which because every one is in line, the line goes so far back that it seemed silly to stand up in the first place.

Also, let's say Group 1 is called, why do all the people in groups 2-4 also stand up and walk over to pretend they are standing in line, creating a big cluster, which causes confusion for those who really do want to stand in line?

Picture this, you are sitting there waiting to board your flight, the gates open and you are called. You stand, walk casually over to the attendant, hand over your ticket and casually walk onto the walkway leading to your plane. Never gonna happen if you continually try to pull this crap of budging and pushing.

Pushing in line doesn't get you there faster, budging in line gets you on the plane faster but doesn't get the plane off the ground faster, all it does is gets you on a stuffy plane, that smells like bathroom, sitting on the aisle, getting pushed by bags, arms, people and children trying to find their seat.

Relax, the plane will not leave with out you, enjoy your time in the terminal because it's much better than the plane and stop pushing, because, well, it's rude.

The Plane - Tip #2 Don't Arrive Late

Ok, I'm going to make this easy.

Tip #2 - Arrive earlier than planned

I'm sure my father will be thrilled with this post. A man that always arrives 3 hours early to assure that he will make his flight, just in case there's traffic, or long lines or something else that I can't even think of. And as someone who travelled with him often, I'll tell you that the previous post was tough because boy, I had to not only keep myself occupied for the 3 hours prior to the flight, but then I had to figure out what I was going to do up in the air.

As silly as this seems, and as boring as it is to sit in an airport, you will be much better off than running through the terminal knocking people down and looking like a moron. So even though 3 hours may be a bit much, shoot for 2. The heart attack waiting in the wings, will have to wait just a bit longer. So sit in the nearest bar and enjoy watching all the other people running to catch their flights.

The Plane - Tip #1 Packing Sucks

Because I just found myself in the bowels of the Midwest (Oklahoma) and took a plane to get there, I thought this would be the perfect time to talk about how people suck when they travel. So in order to avoid annoying me, which should be at the top of every one's list, then please note....

Tip #1 - Don't Over Pack

Now, I realize that I spent a year and a half of my life on the road, travelling with a touring company, and believe me, when you are responsible for every single item that you want to get from point A to point B, you don't tend to carry a lot of stuff. Because I got really good with this, I want people to understand something,

You don't need every single outfit in your closet. You don't need all of your makeup supplies, you don't need multiple shoes and you sure as hell don't need every DVD in your collection to keep your self occupied. So here is the best way to explain for the majority of people. You know how there is this rule for every closet? ie You must have that one black dress, or pair of black pants, you must have that one pair of black high heels and at least one suit. Think of your time to travel as the time to pack those musts. We all know you never know what kind of mood you will be in on any particular day, well women are like that anyway, but get over it, back your necessities, and move on.

In the end, when you don't have to pay $25 per bag or wait at the baggage claim for other people to put your bag on a conveyor belt, you will be much happier, and in turn, so will I.