Restaurants - Tip #5 Don't give the HOOK

This is a tip for all of you to ensure that the waiter will NOT spit in your food or put pepper in your drink.

I understand that sometimes waiters, especially when it gets very busy, aren't around enough. The bad one's just don't know how to multi task and man that sucks when you are waiting for your drink or to pay your check.

So, before you go waving to your waiter from across the room, or giving the hook (the one finger giving the 'come here' motion), think about how long its been since your waiter was near by. Also, think about how often they came around in the past.

Sometimes you need to get their attention and I get that, but sometimes, they are around all the time checking in quietly, scanning the table making sure everything is good and is present just in case you turn to look for him. So remember that just because at that very moment you decide you need your waiter, the other 5 tables may be taking attention away, but a good waiter will check to make sure his section is secure before leaving.

If he doesn't do that, then please, feel free to wave to him from across the room because chances are he really did forget about you.

Restaurants - Tip #4 Tell em how you feel

This one goes out to all my waiter friends out there.

Tip #4 - Don't Lie

I'm giving a shout out to my good friend Katie who talked to me about all the annoying things that you have to go through when you are a waiter. We shared tons of stories, but one of the things I loved, that I never had the balls to do, was to tell my tables the truth!

What a concept right! When you are having a bad day, tell them. The worst thing you can do is have a totally off day, forget things left and right and have your tables treat you horribly, complain to your manager and worse of all, leave a really crappy tip. All because you are having an off night. They happen to everyone, and they even happen to people who have 9-5 jobs. But their waiter isn't there to breath down their backs.

So, when you have an off night, just say, listen, I'm not on my game, and it's been kind of a rough day. So if you think I forgot something, I probably did, so just remind me and I'll make sure to help you out. They laugh, you laugh and everyone is happy in the end.

Happy waiting!

Restaurants - Tip #3 Go Somewhere New

This kills me (but then again, I guess that's the point of this blog, to tell people how to stop annoying me). There are thousands of restaurants in NYC, everywhere. You can turn any corner and see a restaurant, sometimes 5 restaurants. So why is it that when you come to visit NYC for the first or hundredth time, you go to Olive Garden, Red Lobster, TGI Fridays or Chilis!?!?!

I just don't get it. The concierge at your hotel would be HAPPY to help you find a quaint little cafe/deli/fine dining establishment that will fit your taste buds and your wallet. Geez, that's what they are there for. You can get Taco Bell and Red Lobster in any city. And I'm sure you are a big customer back home, but for pete's sake, you are in one of the food capitol's of the world. Take a stab at Little Italy or head up the Upper East Side (really anywhere in 2nd Ave between 67th and 86th streets you are bound to find something).

So please, venture out and if you have NO idea where to go, then ask. Like I said before. New Yorkers are an extremely proud people and would love to tell you their favorite hole in the wall place with THE best homemade ravioli's.

Restaurants - Tip #2 Tipping

Here's a story for you. I was working in this mid town restaurant in NYC. For those of you who don't know, when you work in mid town you will be dealing primarily with tourists. So this post.....for you. Anyway, I had this very lovely table with some business associates from London out to dinner. They sat for a few hours, relaxed, enjoyed their meal and drank quite a bit. At the end of the meal, I handed them the tab. When I came to pick everything up, (btw, I created an amazing atmosphere for this table) I look and saw that they had rounded up to the nearest dollar. That was my tip. That was how they thought I was going to pay my bills. By giving me that $.20 that made it easier for them to balance their checkbook. That's what I got for spending over 2 hours of my time making sure they were happy.

Tip #2 - In the United States, you need to tip.

A minimum of 20% is now the norm. 15% is considered an insult. Do not round up because here in the U.S. waiters live on tips. They get paid way below minimum wage (I got about $2.15 per hour). The reason for that was to cover any taxes, however it doesn't cover nearly enough so even though I always got a paycheck with $0, I still needed to pay TONS of money during tax time.

So please, all of you coming from another country where your waiters actually get minimum wage or a bit higher, we don't do that here. Please note - WE LIVE ON TIPS!

For those of you coming from another part of the country, 20% is the minimum. 15% is an insult, and when your waiter sees you bringing out your cell phone or handy little 'tip card' like the one seen above, just know that they wish they would have spit in your food.

Here's a tip on how to tip. Round up and Double it, for example, lets say your tab is $16.75. I'd take the 1, round it up to 2 and double it, leaving a $4 tip. Here's another one, your tab is $54.32. I would leave a $10 tip (take the 5, no need to round up, and double it). Here's a tricky one, your tab is $6.50. Well you aren't going to leave a $12 tip, instead, I would always leave a minimum of $2. Okay, let's go to a 5 star restaurant. Your tab is $250. Any guesses? You got it, leave $50. And for those of you who don't tip on bottles of wine....shame on you.

Happy tipping!!

Restaurants - Tip #1 Don't Assume

I was having a hard time trying to figure out where to go this week when I went out to eat and realized how many things I have to say about restaurants and eating out. I would like to preempt this by saying that I have a lot of experience working in restaurants. Not back of house, but all front of house. Waiting tables was a great way to make some cash while I was on unemployment and waiting for my next gig to come my way. So...I say this all with a little experience under my belt and from the view of the waitress, not the customer.

Tip #1 - Don't Assume

I realize that there are many reasons to go out to eat. It could be a birthday, anniversary, pay raise, lack of a pay raise or just a nice date night. Sometimes though you want to go out to impress somebody and if this is the case then be careful, because this tip will definitely apply to you.

Have you ever gone to a restaurant and didn't tip your wait staff because the food was slow, the order came out incorrectly, your drinks took too long, the wait staff wasn't around enough or the wait staff was around too much? How about if the food tasted bad? Or the cocktail wasn't exactly how you like it? Maybe you had to send your steak back a few times because they just couldn't get that damn temperature right? Or maybe, even worse, they told you the wait time was appx 30 minutes and 60 minutes later you still don't have a table.

Here's what I'm going to tell you. Get over it. YOU decided to leave your home and have someone else cook for you (btw, the waiter does NOT cook the food), YOU decided not to cook at home, YOU decided to sit down at a table and get served. YOU decided to pay too much for food and drink.

So if something goes wrong, it's probably not the waiters fault and there is nothing they could have done about how slowly the bartender moves or how horribly they make drinks. Nor could they do anything about the cook and how long they decided to keep your steak on the grill. You want a perfect steak to meet your standards?? Then do it yourself.

The point I want to make here is don't assume that the wait staff is responsible for everything that went wrong in your meal. Don't assume that you deserve anything. They are there to help and guide you through a meal that you didn't want to cook.

The Plane - Tip #5 You Smell

I know, I just did this last week, but I need to touch on this again because I think it is important for people to understand that they stink. Yes, you do. Don't think you are exempt from this because you shower or wear deodorant, or brush your teeth twice a day.

Tip #5 - Yes you! You smell!

When you sit in an airport or a plane for half a day or longer you smell. It may not be body odor, but your breath? Nasty. So pack a carry on tooth brush and try to brush in between flights, or even on the flight. Just a little water goes a long way if you forget to put that tiny little tooth paste tube in your purse or bag, but please, drink water, chew gum and brush those pearly whites.

Most people like to chat on the plane, even those who are travelling together, and the toughest thing to do is look at them and listen when you can't even inhale.

You stink, get over it and do something about it

The Plane - Tip #4 Travelling Children

I travelled with my little one when she was 2 months and just recently at 11 months. What a whole different bag of worms, but that's for another post.

Tip #4 - Kids come first

You may not have kids, and that's OK, but just know that the elderly, children and those will disabilities come first. Don't be the ass that pushes in front of a mom with 2 kids trying to get her kids on the plane in a safe and timely manner that will allow her to get them settled and her to maybe, just maybe pick up that book that she has been wanting to read for the past 9 months.

'nuff said